BAD BLOOD

After hours of contemplating I have decided to share this encounter with you. So I started seeing this guy. We went on 5 dates total. Date 1- he took me to a restaurant in Dallas, went for frozen yogurt and we went to see the fireworks at Mohegan sun. They were amazing and I thought it was a great 1st date. Our second date he invited me to a wedding and I was introduced to his closest friends that I totally adored. Smart, funny, great guys that I will truly miss. I asked his one friend if he liked me and he said yes and that he thought with my creativity that I'd be a perfect balance with him. And I thought so too. I never dated a guy who was into sports before he was different and I liked that. 3rd Date we went to a zoo and an aquarium. I had a great time with him and the more we talked and got to know each other the more I liked him. The 4th and 5th date we just went out to a local bar and I spent the night with him. While we hung out, road tripped, and sat at the bar. We discussed a lot of topics. And one of them that came from his mouth and I quote " I don't like liars and mind games". I agreed with him and told him I would never lie to him I am real and straight forward about everything. I asked him if he liked me. And he said he did. Also when we ran into his friends at the bar he would make kids jokes referring to me. "I asked her to have kids with me but she won't" jokingly and I replied " We gotta get married first" we talked about kids a lot. I told him how I love kids and wanted to have lots of babies. It seamed like we had common goals. We clicked. Looking back it makes me sad because for a while I kept telling myself I don't think I want kids because when I looked at them it reminded me of the abuse I suffered when I was a kid. But with him it was different. When I looked at him I felt safe and comfortable. He made me feel like everything would be okay. I trusted him. I felt myself growing feelings for him. Now Im pretty sure every girl does this but when I see a guy I ask myself Could I marry him? And when I looked at him I really thought It was possible. I could see myself marrying him And having little babies together. He made future plans with me asked me to go to a wedding with him in September. I started shopping for an outfit and everything. I thought he liked me and I really liked him but I have one regret... and that is that I slept with him on our fifth date. I drank too much and it happened. Honestly I don't remember most of it. And it's a shame. I joked with him that I had a five date rule but truly I wanted to sleep with him the first time I laid eyes on him. So attracted to him. I remember laying in his bed the first time I spent the night I laid there watching him sleep and though god I would love it so much if he just pounced on me! I wanted him so bad. But anyways that morning I remember I was super hungover I kissed him goodbye before he went to softball and I left. After that day my car broke and I didn't have it for a week. I wanted to meet with him so bad the next day for lunch but I couldn't and I missed him so much all week. All week I stressed not being able to see him and yesterday morning I legit got on my hands and knees and begged my mom for the car for the night so I could see him. She said yes and I was so thrilled. That after noon he texted me saying that he picked up some extra work and that we might not be able to go to a concert last night and I texted him back telling him it didn't matter, that all I wanted to do was see him. And he never replied back. I texted him hours later asking him to please at least respond to me and tell me what was going on... No answer. He totally ignored me and blew me off last night. The one day we were able to see each other he ignored me and didn't give a shit. I wasn't even worth a response. I was crushed and still am. For a guy who says he doesn't like liars and mind games, get a kind loving girls hopes up tell her you like her then ignore her and blow her off.  What a hypocrite. Out of all the names to call him I think a deceiver works best. I was so pissed off and upset yesterday I thought about keying his car. But after a needed night out with my best girl friends I've decided to not be angry. I feel bad. Because he just lost the best thing that could've happened to him.